Today felt like a ginormous brick came crashing down on my head.
From the moment I woke up this morning, I had already decided that today was not my day. I have been experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions since last Wednesday, and for some reason, I can’t seem to understand why I’m dealing with such turmoil.
Despite the drastic changes in my life’s circumstances, I am trying so hard to keep a positive outlook. But sometimes, it can be so easy to drift towards the negative. Drift towards defeat. Drift towards the opposite direction of God.
It can be challenging to maintain a “keep your head in the game” type of mentality when all you can do is try to hold back every tear you’ve been bottling up inside. It can be hard to live out your faith and stay true to what you believe in.
I believe that today was a test-a test to see where my faith truly lies.
Is it in my success?
Is it in my failures?
Is it in my circumstances?
Is it in material gain?
Is it in people, and the praises of man?
I’ve always believed that faith without works is dead. But more so, I believe that faith is what helps us to stand during the storm. Without faith, it is impossible.
I have to come back to being Sara.
I have to come back to God and trust in His plan for providence and security.
Lord, lead me. When I say, “Lord, Lord” help me to mean those words. When I say that I trust You, help me to mean what I say. Help me to see You through this pain.
The tears that I’ve wept over this disappointment could fill an entire ocean. But Lord, I know You’ve got something greater in mind that my eyes cannot see.
We walk by faith, and not by sight.
We walk by the promise, and not by the circumstance.
We walk with strength and endurance, not by disappointment and defeat.
For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Cor. 5:7