Just a few years ago, I made the best decision a human-being could ever make. By faith, I chose to give up my “old life” in turn for a life devoted to Jesus Christ. The decision to follow Christ was made in an instant, but the process of growing and being transformed didn’t happen overnight. Instead, God created a master “plan” for my life, by allowing me to go through different situations to find Him in the midst of it all.
In a diary I had written just over a year ago, I wrote a bible verse that honestly spoke to me and my situation at the time. Here is what the verse had said:
And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent.
Not only did the passage of scripture stand out to me, but it also provided hope that someday, I will be totally healed and delivered from my current struggle.
As I continued to grow in my faith, I began to see changes in my thought patterns. Over the course of two years, I went from being totally focused on my outer appearance, watching what I was eating, and making sure I looked thin and attractive at all times. The Lord, however, knew that this way of thinking was only preventing me from His best plan for my life. I could have gone to school to become a personal trainer, but God had other ideas. I could have wound up in a hospital for having to low of a heart rate from excessive exercise, but God stopped me from going too far.
Instead, the Lord provided me with the right people in my life to show me where to go. From church members to family members, God knew exactly who I needed to speak to go down the right paths. Had it not been for these people in my life who provided me with good counsel, I’m not so sure I’d be where I am now.
Currently, I am in a place healing and restoration. My body has changed over the last two years. I went from being a size 0/2 to an “anything that fits!” Personally, I don’t have a care in the world what size I am, I just want Jesus.
Of course, I have had days where my body didn’t respond in the way I had hoped it too. I have experienced major digestive issues over the past two years, but each time the issue resolves, I feel closer to God than I did before the problem began. Why? Because each time I go through hardship, I develop a stronger dependency and trust in the Lord that could not be produced otherwise. God knows our needs, and sometimes we need to take one step back before taking two steps forward.
So where am I now? A place of pure joy and contentment. Why? Because Jesus showed me how faithful He really is. He allowed me to walk through something so painful because He knew that it would enable leading to ultimate joy, blessing, and real peace.
Instead of finding peace in my eating habits or my weight, or in men’s approval, I find real peace and rest in Jesus Christ. The One who is able to save a wretch like me.
Until next time,