In Summer 2016, I had been given the most exciting news that year.
“You’re going to Greece with Yiayai!” my mom shouted. My yiayia had booked me a flight to come and meet her in Greece, as she had already been there for a month.
I remember feeling so fortunate to have that opportunity because I would always dream about going there someday as a little girl. I remember planning a trip there with my friend Kianna, and always hoping we would go someday.
As much as it would have been nice to have Kianna come with me, I was still very excited to spend 6-weeks with my Yiayia in her home country.
I remember days leading up to leaving, I felt mixed emotions about leaving home.
I wasn’t nervous about flying alone. I wasn’t scared about being in another country. My biggest fear was “will I have time to work-out?”
It was a really huge fear for me at the time, because my focus was so heavily placed upon my outer appearance.
Praise God, I am no longer in that situation anymore. I have been free of an exercise addiction for almost one year.
I could have stayed in a place of pride, where I was choosing trust in myself rather than God. I could have stayed in a place of fear, where I was afraid of gaining one, five, or even ten pounds. I could have stayed in a place of bitterness, because I was leaving my broken state untreated and covering it up with an addiction.
But if I stayed there, how could Jesus use me as His witness? How could he use me to share a testimony of faith, if I stayed in a place of fear, and resentment about my past?
The first thing I needed to do was to let go (repent of my sin). Choosing to let go was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. It was an opportunity for me to realize that I’m not in control of my life. And isn’t that what an addiction wants you to believe?
Any addiction wants you to deny the fact that you’re not in control of your own life. It’s a way of coping, and dealing with your emotions or fears without coming to God and confessing to Him that He is Lord of your life!
“Lord, I can’t live like this anymore! It’s to hard! I’m created for so much more than to be living miserable and defeated by sin!”
The next thing I needed to surrender my life to Jesus, and choosing to trust His will for my life over my own desires.
This was a bit tricky, because our generation loves to dictate when things should happen according to our own schedules.
I wanted to be healed right away. I wanted all the digestive issues I was dealing with to vanish like a vapour, but instead, I was being tested for a lengthened period of time to truly place all I was hoping for into God’s hands.
He knows I can be very impatient and easily upset. But, He being the loving and faithful God that He is, was so ever patient with me.
To watch me go through each day feeling discomfort, He comforted with me with His words.
Now when He got into a boat, His disciples followed Him. And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep. Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!”
But He said to them, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. So the men marveled, saying, “Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?”
And eventually, there was a calm after the storm. I did visit the hospital several times to get x-rays done, blood work, and was even prescribed a medication to help with all the issues.
The medication didn’t work right away, nor did it eliminate all of my issues completely, but I believed it has helped me tremendously get back on track.
And the craziest part is, for a little while I went off the medication and everything seemed to be working fine. I discontinued using it for a while until I realized I needed to be taking it again, but it just goes to show how God is able to do things on His own!
Please continue to pray that I will be completely healed of my digestive issues. Over the last week or so, I’ve been experiencing some of the symptoms I was having in the summer time and it feels very uncomfortable.
However, with new expectancies of God’s faithfulness, I won’t lose heart or fear about what will happen. I will continue to press on, and carry on with life because I know He holds the keys to my future.