It’s not easy, but it’s worth it-Written over a year ago//saved as draft.

Hello everyone, thanks for reading. I hope you’re all having yourselves a wonderful week. I want to begin today’s blog with an opening prayer, as a reminder that God is the main focus of everything, even this blog post!

~The Lords Prayer ~ 

Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. 
Thy will be done in earth,  as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. 
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, 
the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.

Everyone has their own barriers, bad habits, or things they wish they didn’t have. Many of us blame our genes, our upbringing, and even ourselves for these things, and therefore believe that it’s just “who I am”. But what if there was a way out of these “habits”? What if there’s a solution?

I want to tell you a little story about myself.

When I was 15 years old, I was influenced by society’s pressures to have a “bikini body.” What’s a bikini body you ask? Well, it’s basically society’s image of acceptance, beauty, and success. The body image I desired seemed almost impossible, but I was willing to do push myself and get that “dream body” for once and for all. Fast forwarding to where I am today, I sometimes wish I never gave into society’s expectations, and wished I had a relationship with the Lord during that time. But, between the age of 15-19, was what brought me to where I stand with the Lord today, closer than ever.

For 4 years of my life I felt resentful towards God, because I couldn’t understand why I had gone through all the messy, dark, and cruel times during an eating disorder battle called anorexia. In one way, I really enjoy talking about it because it reminds me how far I’ve come, and how much I’ve grown in my faith. At the same time, I really don’t like thinking about the years I can’t remember, as if I were robbed of so many of my teenage days.

But as I find myself gravitating towards negative thoughts tonight, I remind myself how much I needed a trial or triumph to occur in my life, so that I could give God the attention He was waiting on for so long.

It wasn’t until late December of 2015 where God basically interrogated me with no escape. He asked “Why haven’t you called on me yet?! Am I not worthy enough?” I was hopeless, and desperate for a relationship with God. I decided the only thing I could do  was to pray, and boy did it ever help.

Remind yourself that the Lord is ALWAYS with you, no matter what. For some reason, we tend to forget that He’s here, and only call upon Him when we’ve reached a point where were absolutely desperate for his love.

God is like a parent, or a friend. How could you maintain a relationship with a parent or friend if you only called on them when you needed them?  Wouldn’t they feel used, or not important to you as you are to them? That’s how God feels every-time we chose to ignore, or forget that He’s always present in us.

The one thing I can say that has helped me on this whole “food, exercise” journey is knowing that I must remain in God, as He remains in me. If I try to do this thing called “life” on my own, I’ll end up at square one all over again. Begin your day with God, end it with him, and continue to remind yourself throughout the day how He is here, always.

I remind myself why I eat, because it was a hard concept back when I didn’t know the Lord. I tell myself that I need fuel to carry out daily activity that serves God. Whether it be reading the bible, helping someone in need, being able to move and function. And as far as exercising goes, I have lot’s to work on as it it something I’ve revolved a lot of my time around, but I continue to keep it in my prayers so that the Lord will remove my anxiousness with exercise from my heart and replace it with things that serve Him.




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