Hello everyone 🙂
I hope you’re all enjoying your day today. It was a beautiful morning this morning, I woke up feeling anxious because I had a presentation today.
I remembered how in high school I would often avoid presentations, either by missing school or fleeing to the guidance office for support. I also remember a day in grade 12, where I had a presentation, and moments leading up to it I decided in my head I was going to ask to use the washroom, and not return back to class. At the time, I didn’t know the voice of the enemy ever existed, nor was I in relationship with Jesus Christ. I asked to leave, and headed straight to my guidance counsellor and told her I was having a hard time with eating that day. She knew all about my eating disorder and began to comfort me by saying things that, at the time I knew it wasn’t the eating disorder that was bothering me…it was the idea of standing in front of people and presenting. But that’s what the enemy does. He tends to mask certain areas of my life, and it begins to effect other areas. He uses my eating disorder as an excuse to face the world, because he says I can’t do it. And in a way he’s right, I can’t do it. I can’t do it, but only if I keep my eyes on Jesus…I can do it.
The bible says in Jeremiah 1:8 : Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the LORD.
I read this verse last week, when I was praying about getting rid of the anxiety behind this upcoming presentation. This was the first one I had all year individually, other ones I did this year were in groups where I felt less anxious about. I think that before I was in relationship with Jesus, I would make each presentation about me instead of Him. And after doing the presentation today, with complete confidence in the Lord, it went really well. I prayed before hand, obviously, and had to trust God that it would be okay. I had to put my faith in Him, that no matter what happens during the presentation, I am there to please only the Father, not the others. I also had it in the back of my brain that, because I was doing a presentation on eating disorders, it could possibly lead my classmates to want to know more about them. Some of the people who listened to the presentation today, may need someone to talk to down the road, and can now identify a person they can talk to.
I know that God always turns our messes into something beautiful, and I truly believe this was God’s way of turning my messy, eating disordered past into a beautiful way of helping other people through my own experience. He has given me the grace to do so, and so I must praise Him continuously each and everyday for that.
Another thing I wanted to mention is that, I believe God uses other people to help us when we have certain thoughts that aren’t from the Father. I believe that sometimes, when I feel like I shouldn’t have eaten something, or feel guilty about even thinking about eating something in the future, I then come across someone or something that says it’s okay. For example, today I was about to make myself a tea after having my after-school snack. My snack just wasn’t as satisfying as I’d hope, so I thought a tea might tie me over until dinner time. But then, I thought…why don’t I make myself a hot chocolate, using milk instead of water as the base. This would taste so much better than a tea, and would be a lot more satisfying than plain hot water. Then a voice screamed, “If you’re going to do that, you know you’re going to get fat. Hot chocolate (sugar) and milk? You’d be better off with drinking a tea.” Maybe, I would be better off drinking a tea, but God says not to fear any foods. He also says to eat, drink and be merry. Not eat, drink, and wish you were drinking something else because society(the world) says you should. I came across my amazing friends Cassie’s blog today, and read about this very topic. She said that God doesn’t want us to FEAR food. If we did, how could we possibly enjoy it or glorify God by doing it? We can’t, because fear is of the devil. “He provides food for those who fear him; he remembers his covenant forever.” We should instead fear God, not what’s on our plate. We should instead fear our Father in Heaven, who determines everything…not the drink poured into our cups. We should fear the one and Only who provides us with EVERY GOOD THING, not wish of having them. Folks, hear me out. I know that I have touched upon this subject many of times, but it’s times like this where I come up with realizations that line up with God’s Word and think, man…I shouldn’t feel GUILTY. The old things have passed away, I shouldn’t feel guilty for a single thing I do unless it does agree with what God has spoken of. We don’t get to determine what the bible means either. So if we come across a passage, where it says: For every creature of God [is] good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving, but we twist it into our own versions and say ” For every creature of God [is] good, and nothing to be refused, except for hot chocolate because there are websites and dietary experts that say drinking water is better for you” Then I would like to argue that yes, they may be experts in their field but the bible is written by the Ultimate expert who says ” Nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving”. Do we see the difference between “received with thanksgiving” and “received with our own desires?” Meaning, if I know in my heart that what I am doing is wrong in God’s eyes, then we have a problem. But if were doing something, and receiving it with thanks and glorifying Him in the process…there is no need to be held back. The devil likes to take scriptures and remind us of them, even when were doing something good, and make it seem as though were doing something wrong. Friends, I strongly encourage you and also myself to keep reading what God says about what you’re struggling with. For me, it’s food. For you, it may be something different and that’s totally fine. We have to find our answers from only one source, and that is the Word of God.
Also, I know I went way off the tracks during the blog, as it went from one topic to another. But that’s okay. And, I know that I didn’t make this blog post about prompt #5 of the prayer journal I was doing, and again that’s also okay. For this moment, I felt very called to talk about what I was saying in today’s message and I may do prompt #5’s tonight in my own paper journal, or you may see a post about it some other time!
Thank you for reading, have a wonderful evening guys <3!