Tuning Out Your Alter-ego

Psalm 15:

Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who uprightly, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart He who does not backbite with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbour nor does he take up a reproach against his friend. In whose eyes a vile person is despised, but he honours those who fear the Lord. He who swear to his own hurt and does not change, he who does not put out his money at usury , nor does he take a bible against the innocent. He who does these things shall never be moved. 

Let me be your helper today, please, I want to help you. I can’t remove your chains, I can’t wash away your sins, but I can be a helper and direct you to a person who can remove those chains and thus, set you free.

Have you ever found yourself in a place where you’re having something almost like an “inner debate” with yourself? It seems as though you have two little voices in your head that are in conflict with each other. You’re telling yourself one thing, and then you have this voice trying to tell you what’s wrong with with that voice, and now it’s just this jumbled and loud noise that you feel so confused with.

As I was a kid, I would always watch this show called Lizze McGuire because I was in-love with Hilary Duff. In the show, she had a cartoon character which acted as her “alter-ego”, and I found this so fascinating because I never thought it was possible to have an alter-ego, until I found myself in a relationship with the Lord. You see, this alter-ego character that I have, I have recognized as the voice of satan.

I’ve been in this constant daily battle for about 4 years, and this battle is known as “an eating disorder”. It’s basically where I have these unpleasant voices telling me things that aren’t true. For example, I would wake up after 6 hours of sleep, and 6 hours seems like a reasonable amount of sleep, not as much as health experts would recommend, but it is enough to sustain me for the rest of the day. Well, with someone who deals with disordered eating, sleep can be crucial. With someone who has dealt with disordered eating may be able to relate to this; if I don’t get enough sleep, I automatically think that A) My eating schedule for the day is ruined B) Aniexty arises from not having enough energy to workout C) Not sleeping enough can lead to weight gain. Although these things have been “scientifically proven” in EXTREME cases, getting 6 hours of sleep in 1 night, 2 nights, or even 3 nights, will not make you gain weight. But these voices that tell me, “Sara, how could you have allowed yourself to stay up so late.” “Sara, waking up early for class isn’t necessary. Skip class, and get the proper amount of sleep you need, so that you can workout. Exercising is obviously more important”.  From a Christian standpoint, these false, evil voices are coming from satan. Is it though? Is working out more important than pleasing the Lord?

When you realize that you’re hearing to much noise, to much negativity and unwanted voices that you just want to mute, you can do that easily by turning your heart and mind over to the Lord. When we remain open and available for God to come in and guide us, the shame, the struggles, the unwanted focus’s will be removed.  Proverbs 3:1 says” My son, do not forget my law, But let your heart keep my commands, For length of days and long life and peace they will add to to you.” In other words, don’t just remember Him during times on confusion and frustration, stick by Him throughout your whole journey of faith and the paths that life takes you on.

And don’t just ask God to take it all away, remove these thoughts by commanding the thoughts to leave your mind. “Satan, you are not welcome today, tomorrow, or the next day. Satan I forbid you, leave my mind. Satan, you are not going to overwrite God’s Word”. Say it out loud, shout it from the roof top.

The thing is, we are faced with the ultimate choice of giving in and giving up, or letting go and moving forward. I chose to let go and move forward.

God doesn’t want to be in second place in our hearts, it’s ultimately up to us be available and open to Him to be able to work through us. In most cases, we think it’s all about us. We say, if something isn’t going right our life,  we must not be making enough room for God. But the thing is, we need to be open to Him all the time.

I challenge you today, and tomorrow and for the rest of your life to be open and available to God, and to make way for Him all the time. If you keep the door unlocked to Him 24/7, he can come in as he pleases. If you lock the door, and re-open it when it’s convent to you, you’ll find yourself wondering why God wasn’t there when you needed Him the most, and it’s because you had the door locked. When the door’s locked, you actually make it easier for the devil to make his way in.

Remain in God’s presence.


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