Hey Guys! Happy Thursday!
I hope you’re all enjoying this beautiful weather God’s given us today. It’s a little more mild than earlier days this week, and it’s been sunny all week which has me feeling so blessed.
I wanted to share with you some of the thoughts I’ve been having lately, particularly around food.
You know, when I first made this blog, my intentions for it were a lot different then what they are now. I was very set on being the helper for somebody else who needed it when it comes to an eating disorder similar to mine, and I thought that it was mainly about the food.
But now, I’m starting to realize that maybe it’s not about only the food. Maybe it’s about something bigger that’s missing in one’s life. Maybe it’s Jesus Christ.
For me, and from my own experience, God was the missing piece during my eating disorder days, and even in days prior to developing anorexia. You see, I was so caught up in the world, and focused on the flesh (the body), that I was completely ignoring my spirit.
It wasn’t until I began praying, like truly praying that my preoccupations with food and exercise would leave my head that it actually began to work. Now I’m not saying that I said a prayer and bam, I was healed, but as I began praying, and speaking/listening to the Lord, and becoming a more faithful Christian, I began to notice something was overruling the eating disorder. It was grace.
By praying, I put the devil to shame. The thoughts revolved around food and exercise that I’ve had for the last 4 years have been derived from sin. I don’t know how else I could explain it, it’s basically the devil’s way of fooling me that living with disordered eating is better than not living with disordered eating.
I want to become stronger each day as a Christian and continue to fight my daily battles. It won’t happen overnight, and it won’t happen in a week. It’s going to take lot’s of time, maybe just as long as it’s taken to develop and overtake my mind.
Today I spoke with a really lovely lady at my school. She’s a behaviour psychologist, and I went to talk to her about my thoughts. She was extremely helpful, and opened my eyes up to see what my brain’s been doing in the last little while. She said I have to train my brain to stop believing thoughts that are not true, and it’s gonna be a challenge to do that. But she said, with time, it is possible. Right now, that is my goal. My goal is to challenge my thoughts, 24/7. If I have troubles with it, I can’t beat myself up over it since I’m new at this and Im just learning. I can also turn to somebody else for advice, or support, if I’m having troubles. I can also turn my heart over to the Lord.
He’s being doing amazing amazing works in me over the last week, I’ve never felt so close to Him ever in my entire life. I know that there is always room for more growth, and that is another one of my long-term goals.
I hope this is helpful to anybody who is going through similar issues with eating. If you feel that you need God in your life, I guarantee you He will not disappoint you.
Thank-you guys for reading, have a wonderful rest of your Thursdays!