December 31, 2015

Time to Grow

Hey everyone, hope you all had a wonderful day today. I had an awesome time with my family today as we headed off super early for a trip the the U.S for some shopping, and a pit stop to our favourite restaurant called the Cracker Barrell.

Today and last night I was having a very hard time with myself because I’ve been living in a very “perfectionist” mind frame, and the slightest thing has thrown me off.

After a wonderful day yesterday spent with my co-workers, my mom, and a few of my good friends, I went to a family friend’s house for dinner. After the dinner, I couldn’t stop thinking about the food I ate. I kept convincing myself that it was okay, that I was allowed to eat it, but I keep comparing myself to what other’s eat, and therefore I felt that I was eating too much.

This feeling carried out into today, where I didn’t eat until almost 1 p.m. I skipped breakfast, but had lunch and dinner. Again, after having dinner, I had a really tough time accepting that I ate 2 meals in one day. Although it is completely okay to have 2 meals, 3, 4, 5 and even 6 small meals in a day, I was forced to believe that none of my friends ate this much in a day.

I really want to change this mindset, because it is not true. Some of my friends eat more than this, and some less. I need to stop comparing to what other’s eat because they don’t have the same hunger ques, or appetite as me. Also, most of them haven’t dealt with disordered eating and therefore don’t think about what goes in their mouth as much as I would.

Tomorrow, I want to change my comparing/perfection behaviours, so that I can enjoy what God has in store for me and for others. I want to be able to enjoy life without having a mind consumed with food thoughts, and one day I will get there!

Until next time,

S.R<3

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