Hello everyone! Crazy weather we got here, but thankful that we had ourselves beautiful weather during Christmas, it was definitely less stressful driving to see relatives.
I just wanted to touch on a few things I’ve been really wanting to blog about, just to get my thoughts out.
I’ve been feeling very blessed in a lot of areas of my life, and that’s because there has been much more focus on my faith. It kind of ties everything together, and compeles everything else going on in my life.
Last week I had a lovely coffee date with my beautiful friend Cassie. We talked about our faith, and how if it weren’t for God’s love, we would not be able to fully recover from our eating disorders. Later that day, I had another talk with Ben, my mom’s fiance, and we also talked about similar things, and I asked him how he became a Christian.
Friends wise, I’ve been feeling really good. I had a really nice evening with some old pal’s of mine from high-school, I picked them up and we went driving and blasting justin bieber, and then went to jack actors for some snacks, it was really nice. I also had a full day dedicated to one of my best friend’s Angela, Ang and I are ridiculous whenever we’re together. I swear all we do is laugh and make jokes and take pics. I also had a visit with my friend Cassia, we went to the mall together and did some last minute Christmas shopping, got our eyebrows done, and she ended up buying me a skirt I told her I had my eye on. She picked it up and said “okay cool, I’m getting this for you”, and after me trying to get her to put it back multiple times, she kept refusing and bought it anyways. She’s an amazing person, and a friend that I’m very blessed to have. I had a great time with my friend/co-worker Cristina yesterday, we went to Cora for a brunch date, followed by a shopping trip to Old Navy and the mall. We both received pandora bracelets for Christmas, so we went into pandora to look at Charms and we both caved and bought ourselves charms. I bought myself a bible charm, and she got a camera because she loves to take pictures. Today, I was invited to a breakfast date with my friend Mariah who I work with. She’s so funny, and we had a really nice time catching up and laughing.
I love my family so much and I don’t think there are enough words to describe how much they mean to me. They spent far too much on me this Christmas, even though they were on a tighter budget this year. I started crying on Christmas day after I left my dad’s house Christmas morning because this was the first year I felt like I didn’t want any gifts. I just wanted to spend time with my family, and that was it. I hardly got the chance to talk to my step-sister since she was home for x-mas from Ottawa, because we usually have Christmas eve sleepovers as a tradition, where we stay up late and talk and feel really anxious about Christmas morning, but this year I was exhausted and fell asleep early, so I was sad. I went home to my mom’s and after opening gifts there I began to cry because I said I didn’t get to see my step-sister long enough, swell as the rest of my dad’s family. I was supposed to visit extend family really soon, but my mom said I could go back to my dad’s for a little just to see her, so I picked up the phone and called her right away with all this excitement and asked her if she wanted to take my dog bentley for a walk around the block and talk, and she said yes! We ended up spending about an hour together just walking, talking, laughing, and bonding. The sister;y bonding I needed, and that was probably the best gift I got this Christmas.
Ever since my talk with Cassie and Ben about the Lord, and ever since I’ve been accepting the Lord more and more, I’ve found eating less and less stressful, and less of a prime focus. I do struggle with exercise, but it’s gotten so so so much better than before. I always think back at how terribly obsessed I was with food, exercise, and being so miserable and sick because of it. But now, I feel stronger and wiser because of it, and it’s all because of God.
I always come up with theories in my head, and some sound silly but I do believe that there is some truth to this one. I have a manager at my work named Ed. Ed’s a really nice guy, and a really easy going manager, and I remember him being a really easy person to talk to before I got sick. While I was in the depths of my eating disorder, I was afraid to talk to Ed. For some reason, I felt that he didn’t like me, and therefore it was hard to make conversation with him, even though I would see him talk to other co-workers. In the last few weeks, I’ve notice a a change in my attitude towards Ed, I’m finding it really easy to talk to him. Is this coincidence ? Ed is short for Edward, and also short of eating disorder. When my Ed was doing really bad, so was my conversation with Ed the manager. Now that I’m becoming stronger in my recovery from the eating disorder, so is my ability to talk to Ed the manager. Weird? True? Completely nuts? I don’t know, but it was just a random thought I had today at work.
Anyways, it’s getting late and my mom really wants to put together a puzzle, so I’m off to do that with her. I hope you all have yourselves a great rest of your night, and hope to check in soon with you’s<3
Until next time,