The Evolution of Today

Hey everyone, happy Monday!

I just wanted to touch upon a few things before I hit the hay for tonight as I know most of us have early mornings tomorrow.

Tonight I just wanted to talk about a few things, and for most of you who have read my story, this might be a little clear for you that I am not, nor is anybody else, perfect. And so even though I have recieved a lot of praise from the blog and sharing my story, I don’t feel any different than how I feel any other day. Don’t get me wrong, seeing all the love and support from family and friends felt amazing, because it really does prove me right about how blessed I am to have these people in my life, but I guess all I’m trying to say is, even though I did recieve recoginiton from a lot of people through my blog, it doesn’t change the way I feel when I wake up everyday. This morning, I had mixed thoughts about what I should do when I wake up. Should I eat first, then workout? Should I workout first, and then eat? Should I just avoid working out all together and do the homework and assigments that are on my to-do list? Should I do something that doesn’t involve any of the above and just lay in bed for a little bit longer because of my tiredness level? I couldn’t really decide, and usually when I can;t decide, I feel stressed, and I eat. This is something I have recongized about myself, that when I stress, I tend to turn to food as my problem solver. But eating out of stress, is not as fulfilling as eating when I have a true desire to eat. So,  my morning was a little thrown off by this, but the good news is that I didn’t let this effect me throughout the rest of the day, because of the strength I’ve developed over time and from God, and from famiy and friends who have helped me too. I’ve come to realize that, it isn’t the end of the world if I eat something when I’m not hungry. I can move past the negative thoughts around that, because there is nothing wrong with eating when your not hungry. It’s when you start to feel upset about, which is something I’ve worked hard on to prevent myself from doing. Don’t get me wrong, I still get upset from time to time, but it’s been slowly progessing to occur less and less. I ended up powering through an assingment that’s due in a week, and showered and got ready to meet with a good friend of mine at her school. We met up and talked for hours on her campus, it was freezing outside but we got so caught up in conversation that we didn’t care how cold it was,  and then realized how cold we were and went inside to get a treat from Williams. After, we met up with my bestfriend and sister, they’re all sisters, and got dinner at a place near the Embassy. The Embassy is a church for young adults that we always attend on Monday nights. This church has brought nothing but good into my life, it doesn’t even feel like the “traditonal church”, because of the environment it’s in. It’s held in a night-time meeting place, with a stage and such, and has really awesome people that go there, along with two amazing pastors,  and they all make you feel so welcome and are so incredibly down to earth. Tonight, the embassy was doing a question and answer type thing, and a lot of the questions asked were really helpful to understand about relationships. I’m happy to have gone tonight to take part in that. I’m thankful for Cassie, my friend who introuduced me to this church, if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have been moved so much by a place like this, that I consider a second home to me. Tonight felt so evolutionary, because I put a lot of food thoughts away and made room for things that are of more importance to me for once in a long time. I listened to what people were saying to me, I put them first before my needs. I didn’t make today an “all about Sara” day, which I often tend do to on mondays and most of the other days I have because I’m so afraid of not being perfect. I always think that I need to have the perfect schedule in a day, and I need to complete certain tasks or I’ve failed myself. But the thing is that, you’re only cheating yourself if you’re doing things you don’t have to do, or enjoy doing. There’s a difference between doing something because you want to and doing something because someone else wants you to do. Today was about identifying what I want to do, and that is to be more selfless. I don’t want to live in a bubble where my main concern is what I’m doing, there’s nothing too special that comes out of that in my eyes. When I’m only focused on my needs, I’m constantly comparing myself to other people, and I’m constantly worrying about if I’m doing things right or wrong. If you focus on other’s needs before your own, you’ll find that your needs aren’t as important as other’s. That’s my final thought for tonight guys, and I’m sorry if that got a little of track. Have a good night and I’ll check in soon,

Until nex time,

S.R ❤

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