Hey everybody! Happy Friday! I hope everyone is looking forward to a wonderful weekend ahead 🙂
Today I am heading off to a retreat with my church group from school, and other universities and colleges in Ontario will be joining us too! I’m so excited because I have been needing an oppertuneity like this for a long time, and my last retreat was in the 8th grade at the same retreat centre!
I’m excited for the retreat for a few reasons, one being that there is going to be medical professionals there talking about the challenges they face in their career as a Christian. This is perfect for me because I am looking into a health related career, mainly nursing, but it will allow me to understand the ethical decisions they have to make while being in the presence of God at all times. Another reason I am excited is because there are a few people in my group who I’ve started to get to a know a bit better, one’s named is Shae, she is one of the most friendly and down to earth people I met at this school. Shae is the Solid Rock church group leader at Mohawk, and her and I talked about how she became a leader and how it really helped her to get out of her comfort zone by running the group meetings and being more involved. She asked me if i wanted to become a leader in the future, and as much as I would love to be a leader for others, I have still have a ways to go in learning about God and learning about myself too. Sometimes I can be the most outgoing person, and other times I get so shy and have a difficult time speaking infront of others which is a fear that I want to work on overcoming. With all that, I am just looking forward to the whole experience of worshiping, listening to the speakers, meeting new people, learning new things, sleeping there for two nights and the meals that they’re providing us with.
So, there have been so many supportive people in my life lately since I was feeling really down on myself at the begining of the week. On my 19th birthday which was on Monday, I was incredibly sad and could not stop crying. I am still trying to figure out what caused me to lose so much control over my emotions, but one of the biggest reasons I can think of is that there is some underlying issues that have not been dealt with that are stressing me out. 1) Eating issues. I have been slowly but surely getting on a better path in terms of eating and excercise. I have battled through some really tough days in recovery, and those days I can never get back, but what I have realized is how much energy food gives you. I know that sounds so silly because food IS energy, but when I used to think of food/eating, I would think about it as the enemy, the thing you do when you have nothing to do, or the thing you eat when your stomach feels empty. Both are very true, but the main purpose is to give us energy to live, to carry out our daily functions, we need food to stay alert and running off a full tank. Last night I was driving home on the highway, it was about an hour of a half worth of driving and my gas tank was getting empty. I could feel my car start shaking because it was running low, and was using every last bit of gas it could to push it’s way through until I got home. I started to think of the car as me. What if I didn’t have enough fuel to get me through the entire day, would I start to shake too? Would I stop running? The answer is yes, and I have experienced it happen before, and never ever ever want to suffer that again. 2) I have a situation in my life where I just feel stuck at a dead end road. I have felt like this for a very long time but chose to keep “giving it time”, or waiting for the right moment. I don’t know if this is a good or a bad thing, but I can feel it eating away at me almost everyday and truely need to seek God’s help in this situation so that I can overcome this feeling of being so weighed down by it.
One last thing before I go, I wanted to speak about my friend Teresa who I met during the first week of school. Teresa is literally an angel, she doesn’t have a single bad bone in her body and it amazes me how compassionate and kind she is towards every person she meets. Teresa and I met outside one of our classes one day, and all I can remember is her lighting up the minute she saw me, waving her hand like crazy and smiling so bright, she had never met me before in her life and greeted me as if we had known each other for life. She immidetley began to introduce herself and ask me questions about my life and what I was planning to do after pre-health. From there, she has saved me a seat in every class, has notifyed me about upcoming tests or assignments, she made a birthday card for one of our friend’s Judy-Anne and had everyone sign it plus chip in a dollar to buy her cupcakes, and she made me a home made birthday card that looked store bought and got a few girls in the class to sign and then treated me to a caramel latte from starbucks today. What the heck. Who does that?!?!?!?! I have seriously never met somebody so driven towards making somebody’s day, this girl is so dedicated to her studies too, it amazes me how caring she is about every aspect in her life and I aspire to carry some of her amazing attributes.
There are other people in my life have been in my thoughts and prayers lately, and I miss them a lot and hope to see them soon to catch up and just experience life together. I love them so much because they get me through my day, and give me reasons to feel blessed and happy.
Anwyays, that’s all for today! I hope everyone enjoys their weekend ahead and I’ll be back on Sunday hopefully for a new blog post.
Until next time,