Sara’s Self Help Series

Hey guys, so I just wanted to write a quick and short blog about a few things that have been on my mind lately. I’m currently getting ready to head out for a day of nothing but fun with my step sister, who always happens to be celebrating her 21st birthday!

Anyways I just wanted to talk about Relationships, and what a relationship should feel like before, during and possibly after.

To me, before I date somebody I find this part the most exciting and I totally go crazy about the person. They just so happen to be constantly on my mind, I’ll be smiling throughout the day just thinking about that person, or I’ll try to relive our first time ever talking or our first ever kiss with eachother. I feed off of those times because they make me so incredibly happy and I feel so lucky.

During the relationship, I feel as a couple there needs to be an equal or slight difference in effort with eachother, not an extreme difference though. For example, I want my partner to be interested in my day just as much as I am of his. I want them to listen to me as I would listen to them. I want them to remind me of how much they care about through actions and words in the same doses as I would for them. It should feel natural, and not a chore. If it does feel like it is a chore, the relationship could become questionable.

Does anyone ever feel like the spark between them in their partner has been lost? What makes the spark go out? Is it because those first time feelings are no longer there, and they’ve become just an old part of the past? Seriously, I want to know the answers to these questions because I have felt this way before. I wonder to myself how did I go from being head over heels, constantly thinking and fantasizing, and then all of the sudden wanting something new or thinking they’re no longer my “type”, or never were to begin with. It’s hard because sometimes our minds play huge games with us, they try to convince us that we are or aren’t in love with someone. But I think that if you are 100 percent in love with a person, those thoughts would not occur. There wouldn’t be a lot of doubting, it would be a mission to be with that person no matter what kind of problem arises.

You don’t have to stay friends with the person after a break up occurs. Don’t feel like you need to try to be friends either. Sometimes, relationships are meant to be relationships and nothing more. Once it’s done, it’s time to pick your feet up and move on to bigger, better, things that you know you deserve. You don’t need to deal with any stress, trying to be friends afterwards, it’ll be stressful and exhausting, especially if you’re trying to much to prove to the person how great of a person you are because you wouldn’t normally try to prove that to your actual friends. Some relationships do end in friendships which is okay, as long as it is a natural and mutual decision that will not effect your life in a negative way. Remember, when you break-up with someone you want to move forward, not slip behind. You want to take the negativity from it and use it to your advantage, to find out what you are and are not looking for the next time around. You will find that person, but there is no specific time or date that it will happen.

My next blog about relationships will talk about what to want in a relationship, so stay tuned for that!

Until next time,


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